I am truly blessed to have my mother in my life and not a day goes by that I don’t count that blessing. My heart aches even at the fleeting thought and realization that one day she will not be with me. I am not a fan of Mother’s Day because I think it brings as much or more pain and disappointment than good.

I find it hard to believe that anyone who has lost their mother can get through the weeks leading up to and the day itself without feeling at least a little more hurt than usual.  There are also people with complicated relationships with their mother who find that this day just underscores that.

And for the mothers out there, what a set up! There are the children that don’t call or send a card, not because they don’t love you, but because their love is not on some arbitrary time table.   There are the overpriced and unappetizing brunches that corral excited kids, “over it” dads, and moms wishing that Mother’s Day meant a spa day without the kids because that is the only way they will truly get a break.  And why don’t we hear about Mother’s Day dinners?  Is one big meal in the middle of the day all that we can hope our partners and children can pull off?

I know this sounds like a bah humbug kind of post and don’t get me wrong I am obviously generalizing and I too send my share of cards and sentiments and I gratefully receive them. I just dread the day that will be my first Mother’s Day without my Momma and for all who have seen or will see that day this year my heart breaks for you.  For me, the day ends up being a blend of mixed emotions and it all started because in 1908 Anna Jarvis wanted to honor her mother and thought that others should do the same.  Fun fact: she actually ended up boycotting her own holiday when it was appropriated by Hallmark and the like in the 1920’s. If she could only see what it has turned into

Well my boys will not be able to be with me this year and that’s OK because it is just the second Sunday of May and every day with them in my life is Mother’s Day.