I remember walking down the hall my sophomore year in high school and Mr. Bowden saw me in the hall pointed at me and said “Hyperbole!” to which I responded “A conscious overstatement to create an exaggerated effect.” He in return said “Yes!” and proceeded down the hall.

I am not sure why this moment stands out in my memory, but I think of it often, especially lately as I watch the Olympics, skating in particular.

Much of the work I do as a therapist involves helping people to really listen to what they are saying to themselves, self talk. What we say to ourselves as we navigate our lives impacts what and how we feel. This is not the forum for a whole explanation of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, but the point is that it is important to tell ourselves an accurate description of what is going on. If what we tell ourselves is out of proportion to the actual events, then so too will be our emotions.

So what does this have to do with the Olympics? Sorry Johnny Weir but I am calling you out as an example. When someone falls on the ice it is not a DISASTER! It’s disappointing, frustrating, sad, regretful, and maybe a few other things, but not a disaster. Yes I know that you know it is not an actual disaster, but I find that people are lacking an emotional vocabulary and when complex emotions come up they don’t know how to connect with and define them because they have had so many “disasters” and events in their lives that have been “terrible”, “awful”, and “devastating”. Another Weirism is “all the feels” which is not unlike when I hear people saying that they “caught feelings” when referring to someone who they were “hooking up” with.

A recent study published by The Greater Good Science Center indicates that there are as many as 27 distinct emotions and dozens of emotional gradients within each. This is well beyond happy, sad, and mad.

So instead of saying that you had a “breakdown” consider that you may have been justifiably upset and were crying or your anxiety was so high that you had step out to catch your breath.  We are so resilient and we have the capacity for a depth of emotional expression so why do we shortchange ourselves?  Think about the last time you were feeling curious or contemplative or even precocious.  Check out my favorite emotions chart . Meanwhile I will be bracing myself for the “disasters” and “feeling all the feels” of the women’s events yet to come.